Sunday, February 14, 2010

Goldilocks and the 3 (gummi) bears

Once upon a time there was a little food blogger named Goldilocks who went for a walk in
the forest. Pretty soon she came across a house. Goldilocks tried the front door and noticed that it wasn't locked. Opening the door a crack she was confronted with an alluring aroma. Salivating, she entered the house. Goldilocks wandered into the dining room where food was cooling on the table. She stepped up to the first dish and eagerly took a bite.

"Yeouch! This simmering pot of homemade feijoada though delicious and hearty is too hot!"

So she tried the second plate.
"Brrrr this amazingly presented Kobe Jones sushi tasting plate is too cold for my sensitive teeth"

So she tried the third plate.
"Wow this aromatic and delicate, tomato based goat's curry is too spicy!"
So she headed over the what looked like a communal table filed with canapes.
"Yum these pan fried pieces of chorizo and oregano scented meatballs (along with the other nine different canapes present) are a taste sensation and just what I'm craving. So goldilocks proceeded to eat all the canapes (after taking photos for her blog of course).

"Hey the feijoada has cooled down, and the sushi plate is at room temperature, and the goat's curry is still spicy but it smells so good I'll tough it up and get through it anyway". And Goldilocks did just that, and happily ate everything else on the table.
"Wow what a feast for the senses that was. I really should continue my walk in the forest and burn off some of these calories but I'll do that after a quick nap".
So off she went upstairs where she found three beds. Yada yada yada, she fell asleep.

Moments later the three bears came home from a food bloggers picnic.
Papa bear said "Hey! What the heck happened to all our food?!?"
Mama bears first response was "Papa, did you remember to takes photos of the food for our blog!" followed by "call the police I think we've been robbed! (but at least we have the photos and can post the blog on time)".
Baby bear tipped toe'd down the stairs and whispered "I think a lady ate all our food and is sleeping in my bed right now".

The three bears rushed up to Baby bears room and saw Goldilocks waking up. Golidlocks screamed and made a run for the door only to be crashed tackled to the ground by Papa
bear and torn to shreds. The only thing remaining of Goldilocks was her heart.
A few months later, the three bears had put the horriffic breaking and entering incidence behind them and were doing quite well in there new business of manufacturing anatomically correct gummi hearts as novelty Valentine's day cards.
And the moral of the story is? Well as a food blogger I think we all have a bit of Goldilocks in us, a part of us that will occasionally yield to temptation. Willing to cheat, lie, steal to get the last macaroon on sale, or drive miles and miles out of the way to satisfy a hunger for the perfect pie so I kinda feel sorry for Goldilocks. On the other hand, I also have a bit of the three bears in me and that part says "Hands off my food lady!"

Giant gummi bears available from I couldn't really justify spending $40 on one gummi bear so the one pictured is the "small" size. The part of Mama bear tonight was performed by Buderim Ginger Bears (can't get enough of them!) and baby bear was a run of the mill gummi bear (hard to find these days! Head to Aldi's or Coles have their own branded ones).
Oh yeah and whilst I'm on the topic of of novelty giant sized confectionery treats:

Anatomically correct gummi heart was from

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


  1. Bravo! Hilarious..and that HEART? How romantic!!! NOT.

  2. You splashed out on a giant Lindt ball and didn't share it with us?!! Hah! Even I hesitated over that one! Great concept, should have been the 100th post! :D

  3. I love, love, LOVE that anatomically correct heart, love that rich blood red colouring, ooh it brings out the vampire in me! Hilarious post, you're such a funny writer Lobo!

  4. OMG! Where'd you get the giant Lindt ball? Do they come in dark chocolate?

    Awesome post!

  5. Happy Valentines Day! :D LOL Love that alternative heart. I always wished that those giant Lindor balls had that delicious filling instead of being filled with little Lindor balls. Now that would be worth diving into! :P

  6. Alas, if it's similar to the ones I saw, the giant Lindt balls are just a shell, no small Lindt balls within (rip off!) and I think they only come in milk. I'm with you, give me dark anytime! He he!

  7. What a hilarious blog. Well done. Love it! Wag.