Gentlemen! Gird your loins!

For what I am about to show you may make you squeamish!

So what do these little morsels remind you of? And what might they be made from?

You have no doubt watched Heston Blumenthal feed chickens' testicles to the English public and there are more articles online than I had expected discussing the eating of sheeps', bulls', goats', lambs', turkeys' and even kangaroos' testicles. Could a Chinese company (duck feet, tongue & giblets, chicken wings), really have gone to this extent?

Well, I'm happy to reveal that these are NOT testicles, they just look like them! He he! They are in fact:

Yes folks, "Porky Jujubes"! Now when I see a name like that, my imagination goes into overdrive as to the texture and more importantly the taste.

Well, to put you out of your misery, they are basically a more voluptuous form of beef jerky, only it's "pork-y"; which in itself seems wrong as I find jerky palatable only in very thin sheets and only once in a blue moon. Admittedly the volume of these "Porky Jujubes" makes them a little moister than your average jerky - but not much. Cross section alert!

They were too sweet for Yaya's palate and Lobo could barely stomach them (he kept slicing them down again and again as if this would make them go away. No such luck!).  

You get 11 vacuum sealed individual packs of two mini jujubes to a pack (try to think of them as teeny weeny little sausages, it helps).

The real thing looks a little more squashed than the beauty shot on the pack and they're slightly smaller than an average size strawberry.

And this is what they're made from:

I have to admit, when I first spotted these, I thought they might be a handy thing to tuck into your handbag (the size is certainly right) for that little hit of protein when your blood sugar is making you shaky (a leg of ham or stick of salami would be somewhat ostentatious and need refrigeration making them less than portable) but the sugar content (not to mention the fact that they're just not very nice to eat) put an end to this.

Perhaps if I had a dog ...