Luke Nguyen's Affair ... with Clinique

Affair? More like a marriage made in Heaven!

On a mellow evening in Sydney (soon to be repeated at Zinc in Melbourne), a 350 strong crowd of (mostly) women flocked to Doltone House to enjoy a 6-course degustation menu including 25 so-called super foods designed to make your skin glow.

  

Deep down inside, we all know “we are what we eat”. Cosmetic company Clinique uses specially selected ingredients in their products to help us look good on the outside, how great would it be if those same ingredients could be used to make a meal that would help us from the inside?

Zeta Bar. Happy Birthday Buddy!

Zeta Bar turns 5! And what an adorable little 5 year old she is. The 5th birthday is really something to celebrate, it's when a child truly gains their own identity. They are no longer just a laughing, crying, eating, immobile mass of meat with liquids coming out of every orifice. They have passed the terrible two's and have gotten over the fascination of making things disappear down the magic 'flush hole'. Yes 5 is a momentous age, if not for the fact that they can be palmed off to public schools for 6 hours of the day, then for the first memorable beach trip where they can truly enjoy the wonders of the sea rather than just getting wet and rolling around in the sand (a kid schnitzel). Mama Hilton and Papa Belvedere organised a fantastic beach themed party for their little woman. Happy birthday Zeta!

cw: Papa Belvedere, Baby Zeta, Aunties Patty and Selma Chandeliers (aka Aunt Chandy), Mama Hilton. 

Gentlemen! Gird your loins!

For what I am about to show you may make you squeamish!

So what do these little morsels remind you of? And what might they be made from?

You have no doubt watched Heston Blumenthal feed chickens' testicles to the English public and there are more articles online than I had expected discussing the eating of sheeps', bulls', goats', lambs', turkeys' and even kangaroos' testicles. Could a Chinese company (duck feet, tongue & giblets, chicken wings), really have gone to this extent?

Well, I'm happy to reveal that these are NOT testicles, they just look like them! He he! They are in fact:

Yes folks, "Porky Jujubes"! Now when I see a name like that, my imagination goes into overdrive as to the texture and more importantly the taste.

Well, to put you out of your misery, they are basically a more voluptuous form of beef jerky, only it's "pork-y"; which in itself seems wrong as I find jerky palatable only in very thin sheets and only once in a blue moon. Admittedly the volume of these "Porky Jujubes" makes them a little moister than your average jerky - but not much. Cross section alert!